When making decisions and choices, we all take into consideration various factors: our choice’s impact on people we love, the results of that choice on our (and other people’s lives) and other considerations.īeing “Codependent No More” (or at least “Not as Much”) doesn’t mean we’re crazy. Then, in the 80’s, when codependency came out as a word used to describe (mostly) dysfunctional relationships, it took on a new meaning for many of us – but not a completely new one.

It (codependent) meant that an action was mutually dependent on or influenced by something else – someone or something besides the original factor or persons involved.Ĭodependent defined certain legal terms in agreements, contracts or decisions. The real root of the word “codependent” and the original definition came from the legal use of the word in contracts and documents. Then I began to understand: there’s no shame in being codependent or having been that way. I’d been the poster girl for the hand-wringing, anxiety-ridden, people-pleasing, controlling and obsessive stereotype often associated with people identifying themselves as “codependent.” After learning about codependency and the behaviors involved with it, and then working on choosing different behavioral options such as detaching, letting go, feeling my emotions and setting and enforcing boundaries – including saying no - I began to feel … ashamed for having been so blatantly codependent.

Definition malody